I have a poetry app called Poets Corner. (it’s only for phones) You can post your poetry and people can comment on it. There was a man going around posting mean things. Constructive criticism is one thing, but this gentleman was very rude. He was telling people their writings were worthless, and stuff like that. I wrote this for him and he never responded… I wish he would have.

Hey pacelli, come and pick on me.
I love the fact that your criticism’s free.
I’d pay to learn in a college class,
But I’d rather learn from your vindictive ass.

PC is not for critics with no poems.
It’s where we come to share with glee,
the thoughts we think when we’re alone
It’s the perfect place for Teenagetragedy.

So please please please be done with her,
And come help me to see.
I need help with my iambic pentameter.
It’s very hard for me.

Am I right when I say, that to do it in English,
It has to be in Accentual-syllabic verse?
To understand this complex thing is my wish.
Having to use qualitative metre, makes it worse.

You see, I need this help to write a sonnet.
So after I learn this iambic stuff,
I was hoping you’d help me feel less like a baby with no bonnet.
Cuz, deciding on Occitan, Spenserian, or modern is rough.

Perhaps I should go with original Petrarchan style.
That would be like being a bard.
Poets like Milton and Gray, did it in English for awhile.
But something like “O voi che per la via” is too hard.

So any assistance you could give this young whelp,
Would help me “get it” and ring my bell.
I’ll say in advance, thanks professor for the help.
Now shut up, turn off your phone, and go to hell. 🙂