I often wonder how people manage to handle stuff that stresses them out. I get frustrated, and my brain shuts down as I get overwhelmed. I don’t usually yell or anything, I just shut down, and when I’m super frustrated, tears threaten to fall from my eyes. When this happens, people tell me to calm down. How the hell do you all do it?!
    I know it’s not the end of the world, but I can’t stand it when people say it. I really wish I could stay calm and not shut down, and it’s something I’m working on… but everyone acts like it’s nothing.
    Yesterday, work got really hectic at my new job, and I had a million things to do, but was being pulled between them all. I couldn’t figure certain things out, and with everyone busy, I was pretty much on my own for awhile. My boss (who also happens to be like a brother to me) finally found the time to help, and found me completely at a loss. I had gotten so frustrated, that I couldn’t even talk anymore without stuttering. So when he told me to calm down, I snapped at him.
    “I’m trying to be calm, but it’s not a switch that I can shut off. Frankly I’d like to know how the fuck you guys seem to make it so easy to stay calm! I’m not you, I never have been! You all act like I’m full of shit that I can’t calm down! Do you honestly think I fucking like being stressed like this?! How the hell do you do it?! Huh?! What’s your secret?! I prioritize, I step back, breathe deep, walk away… Nothing helps me calm down except getting my job done. How am I supposed to get my job done when I ask questions, and literally everyone tells me they don’t know the answer?! I swear, if I didn’t enjoy working with you, and wasn’t so determined to basically take this place over… I’d fucking walk!”
    He let me rant, and then proceeded to help. He’s a great boss and friend. I have known him for 16 years, so we know how to deal with each other by now. I really do wish I could shut off the stress, but being that I’m further behind where I thought I would be at this point in my life than I was just coming out of high school, it’s a bit tough. Life has blessed me with a couple great friends and 2 wonderful kids, but it has also raked me across the coals and back.  So I get a little stressed. Lol. I’m tired of being a nobody. I’m tired of working for shitty pay, I’m tired of being a “ditch digger”
    It’s funny that people act like a life of physical labor is easy. It sucks, but the world needs men like me. I might not have a degree, or be able to do excell spreadsheets, or have meetings with important people. In fact, for most of my life, I’ve been considered, “the help” and looked down upon because of my social status. Well I would challenge any white collar worker to do some of the jobs I’ve done in life, and make it through.
    Anyway… I’m getting ready to head into work now. Sorry, but I just had to rant a bit. It’s the one thing that I’ve found that helps my stress. I just try not to do it too often, lest I become just another dramarama. Have a good day. 🙂

Advertisements