My eyes turn inward, as I try to figure out the cause of the rage building up inside of me.  Things finally seem to be taking a turn for the better in my life, and yet, I feel the demon within, trying to claw his way out. Do I embrace it, or fight?
    This isn’t the typical, angel on one shoulder, devil on the other situation. This is something in my brain that apparently doesn’t want me happy. But its not the same as the one who devoured me as I fell into a world of drugs and violence as a teen. This one is a lot more cunning. It probably ranks quite high in the pantheon of darkness.
    It shows me images of death and destruction. My body in flames, as my skin melts, like a wax effigy set ablaze. My traitorous legs carry my body up the stairs to the gallows of my mind. The rope eyes me with lust as it fantasizes about groping my neck. I see my own eyes starting back at me from behind the axeman’s hood.
    I thought I had gotten rid of this demon, but I was wrong. Like a skilled soldier, it dropped back and hid from view. I told it to leave, I begged it to go, I commanded. Then came the bloodletting. It didn’t work. They say when you try to kill a man, you better make sure he’s all the way dead… It’s even more important with a demon. They come back stronger, more full of hate, and with more vengeance than you could imagine.  I hear its voice taunting me. Telling me to give up, calling me worthless. I try to drown it out, but it does no good. Have you ever tried to silence your own thoughts? There is only one way I know how… But I can’t allow that. If I do… It wins.
    I won’t promise that I can defeat it, but I will promise to fight with everything I have. I have nothing to lose by trying, and everything to lose by failure. And I don’t want to fail!!