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  I’m tired. So fucking tired. I try and try to improve things in my life, and nothing happens. Things fall apart.
  It has been awhile since I wrote anything. Not just here… But any writing at all. I just don’t give a shit about much anymore. My depression is eating me alive, and all i can do is try to ride it out.
  I have a lot of good things in my life. Don’t get me wrong. I have a few great friends, my kids, I’m not dying of some terminal disease, I’m reasonably intelligent, and charismatic… So why do I want to go to sleep and never wake up? Where the hell do these suicidal tenancies come from?
  Maybe my parents didn’t show me enough love, or beat me too much as a child. Maybe my ex wife getting rid of me has something to do with it. But maybe, I’m just broken. I know other people suffer from depression too. I’m not trying to sound like I’m the only one… But for the life of me, I can’t figure out why the thought of death is so appealing.
  Everyone says things will get better… It’s just a rough patch. Well, this rough patch has lasted since ’07. I don’t see an end in sight. I’m sure one day I will look back on this and laugh, thinking how stupid I was… But until that day, I am keeping my friends and kids close to my heart, because they are the only thing keeping me alive.

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