Grinningbear

Are you ok?
One phrase,
That’s all it took.
And all the carefully constructed facades came crashing down.
All the false smiles disappeared.
And all that was left was a broken man.
A man tired of fighting,
Tired of getting nowhere,
Tired of it all.
The demons screamed,
“Loser,
Worthless,
Good for nothing”
He arrived home,
To his lonely bed,
And lay down.
Starring at the ceiling
Trying to sleep he wondered.
What do i do?
Because in truth,
He no longer knew.

Holy crap,
where did everyone go?
I’m stuck at the starting line,
waiting for the big show.
I’m standing here because,
I didn’t hear the gun.
Had my eyes closed,
when you all started to run.
Visions in my head,
of winning this race.
Now I look around,
feeling out of place.
What? You’re a doctor?
You saved a life?!
I bust my ass for low pay,
and give half to my ex wife.
You’ve got a vacation home,
that sits on a beach?
I’ve got a dilapidated place,
and a bed with no sheets.
A house where the cold,
cuts me to the bone.
I might have a house,
but it isn’t a home.
I gave up on my dreams,
while you chased yours.
Outside it is sunny,
but inside it pours.
I don’t have enough money,
to pay all my bills.
Thoughts of death in my head,
give me constant chills.
Sitting here writing,
these stupid rhymes,
I can only blame myself,
for these trying times.
You struggled and fought,
to get where you are.
While I spent my time,
wishing on stars.
Do you even remember,
the starting line that I’m at?
Every time I try to start,
I have only fallen flat.
Just go on without me,
I’m not worth the time.
I’m just a failure at life,
and a failure at rhyme.

How far will I fall,
into this personal hell?
Used to be ten feet tall,
now just an empty shell.
Eyes once full of life,
are now just devoid.
Dealing with too much strife,
broken thoughts I try to avoid.
A tear falls to the floor,
as the razor kisses my skin.
Knocking on deaths door,
soon I’ll be whole again.